I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
