the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
