I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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