Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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