somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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