dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
