Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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