there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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