If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
