Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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