so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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