He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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