Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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