i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
