i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
