It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
