what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
