i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
