dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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