I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
