absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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