Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL

(609): View more from New Jersey

dude. stop pregaming the food network.

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(443): View more from Maryland

8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize

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(845): View more from New York

You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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(716): View more from New York

I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything

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(779): View more from Illinois

I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs

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(586): View more from Michigan

OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!

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