if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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