Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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