dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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