She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
