to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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