He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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