and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
