Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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