Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
