I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
