I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
