He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
