Moan for me like Helen Keller
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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