i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
