ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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