We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
