He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
