Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just cut my nipple shaving
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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