White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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