Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
