I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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