I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
