I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
