think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
