But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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