I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize