I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
