the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
