New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
