Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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