Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
