First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
