Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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